There are times when you look around and it feels like everyone is ahead of you. Someone is building a brand. Someone else is getting into med school.
Your old classmates are influencers, business owners, glowing in love, or casually making passive income from a digital product they launched at 3AM.
And then there's you, in bed, scrolling.
But even if they are—so what?
What race are you in? What’s the destination? And who made the rules?
If you’re constantly chasing what everyone else is doing, if you’re not even paying attention to your own life, are you really living?
You may need to hear this- or not.
This is for the people who are tired of running a made-up race of life. Tired of rushing. Tired of trying to catch up. Tired of feeling like they’re always behind.
1. It's okay to not have it figured out
What does it mean to have it figured out in the first place? Do you mean having the perfect grades? Perfect grades, a steady job, flawless skin, a soulmate, financial independence, emotional intelligence, and inner peace? All before 23?
Who told you the people you're looking at have it figured out?
It's ironic, but the only way to figure it all out is to deeply understand that you actually can't figure it all out. And that that's okay.
You may feel motivated today, and decide to get your life together. But that motivation will only last for so long. Because today will not be tomorrow.
You need to learn to take life as it comes. When you feel slow and tired, why would you be angry at that? Why would you be harsh and angry at yourself for wanting a break?
Please, understand that it is important you learn to be comfortable with not knowing what you're doing. Because in truth - no one knows. Even the people with plans have doubts. Even people with structure get scared. And yet, we continue. Because there is no other choice. And because in the end, it will be fine.
2. Social Media Will Always Make You Feel Behind
We’re wired to show the good parts. And to an extent that’s okay. Because we all just want to feel accepted.
The problem starts when we forget the rest—the hard, boring, chaotic parts that never make it to the screen. The videos you see? They’re edited with soft music, fast cuts, and the perfect lighting.
And of course, we know that the pictures are filtered, the smiles are timed. And yet we forget.
We compare our unedited lives to someone else’s reel and feel like we’re missing something.
Then we start chasing moments that aren’t even ours. Someone posts a movie night? Suddenly, we need one too. Someone goes on a picnic date? Now we feel like we’re missing out.
But do you ever actually stop and look at your own life? What’s right in front of you? Why are you trying so hard to escape it? And where exactly do you think you're going? What is this perfect place you’re hoping to find?
Don't get it wrong. You don’t have to cut off social media entirely. It’s one of the most creative, entertaining things we’ve built as humans. There’s beauty, humor, art, chaos—it’s not all bad.
But know when to log off. Like, know when to close the apps, and know when to delete the apps. And know when to come back to your own world.
When you start using it to drown everything else out—when scrolling becomes a way to avoid your life—that’s when it’s time to pause. That’s when you need to pay attention again.
Walk outside without filming it. Stop trying to recreate someone else’s aesthetic life and look at your own—your messy, weird, beautiful one.
Ask yourself: what am I trying to escape? And who told me I had to be more than I am right now?
3. You Will Change Your Mind Over and Over. And That's Fine
You might want to travel the world today—and then change your mind tomorrow. You might dream about having kids now and feel completely different a few years later.
You might chase the corporate ladder, only to wake up one day craving a quiet, simple life instead.
You might think you’re meant to be in one field, only to wake up three years later and feel suffocated.
There’s no fixed direction. You’re on a floating rock in the middle of nowhere. Do you really think you have to keep holding on to things that no longer feel right?
You don’t owe anyone consistency in your dreams. You’re allowed to outgrow things. You’re allowed to start over.
You’re supposed to change. That’s the quite literally the whole point.
4. Growth is Messy
You’re going to stand up, and fall, then stand up and fall again. Over and over. And not so much of a surprise—but that’s fine. That’s how it works.
The people you look up to who seem successful and polished? They’re still falling too. They just don’t post that part.
There's nothing wrong with you just because you keep stumbling. And you’re not weak for needing to start over. You’re learning how to move through life—sometimes clumsily, sometimes confidently, sometimes not at all. That’s what growth actually looks like.
There’s this idea that life has a path. That if you just make the right decisions, you’ll walk it cleanly and everything will align. But in reality, there is no straight path. No marked trail. You’re carving it out as you go, turning corners you didn’t plan, doubling back when things stop making sense.
Most of the time, you're not “on track” or “off track.” You're just trying. Trying to survive. Trying to heal. Trying to live.
And that’s more than enough.
5. The Timeline You’re Following Is Made Up
Graduate by 21. Career by 23. Marriage by 26. Kids before 30.
Why did we make that up?
No, really—why did we all subconsciously agree that that’s the standard? As if life is some checklist we’re all supposed to complete in sync. As if we all start in the same place. As if we all want the same things.
Listen, you’re not a copy of someone else’s story. So, why are you trying to follow a timeline that wasn’t even made with your life in mind? That’s how you end up waking up one day feeling completely disconnected from the choices you made. Not because you failed—but because you followed someone else’s idea of what “success” is supposed to look like.
Here’s what we all forget: Many people don’t graduate at all. Some people go back to school in their 30s. Some people don’t get their first real job until 27. Some people travel. Some people rest. Some people restart completely—move cities, change careers, end relationships that no longer fit.
And none of them are doing it “wrong.”
Your path is allowed to look different. It’s allowed to take longer. You’re allowed to say, “I’m figuring it out” and actually mean it—not as a joke, not as an excuse, but as something true and honest and human.
You’re allowed to move slow. Or fast. Or stop and start again. There is no prize for rushing through your life trying to meet someone else’s deadline. No trophy for getting married just because you hit a certain age. No gold star for pretending you’re settled when you’re not.
Take your time. Rewrite the timeline. And burn it if you have to.
6. Your Worth Isn’t Based on Productivity
You don’t need to wake up at 5AM, drink lemon water, journal, meditate, read three chapters, lift weights, answer emails, and write a thesis—all before the sun rises—to prove you’re doing something with your life.
Because you’re not a machine.
And you don’t exist to be constantly optimized.
So, it's okay to be tired. It's okay to spend the whole day resting. It's okay to not be able to focus sometimes. It's okay to feel like nothing is “on track.” Your value isn’t something you're going to unlock with effort. It’s something you carry with you—whether or not you’re performing.
And look—if you like routines, great. If waking up early and getting things done makes you feel grounded, then by all means do that.
But don’t do it because you think you have to. Don’t do it because someone online told you that’s what “successful” people do.
Success looks different for everyone. For some people, it’s starting a business. For others, it’s surviving depression. For some, it’s reading five books a month. For others, it’s getting out of bed and brushing their teeth.
So, don't dismiss your quiet life.
7. You Are Allowed to Just Exist
Please, not every season of your life needs to be a project. Not everything you go through needs to become a lesson. Not every moment needs to be turned into growth or transformation.
Some seasons are just for surviving. For getting through the day. For letting yourself feel whatever’s showing up—confusion, grief, numbness, stillness—and not immediately trying to fix it. Some seasons are for healing without performing that healing. For sitting in the in-between. For not having a “takeaway” yet.
You’re allowed to not be working on yourself. It's okay to just be. Why did we forget that? Why do we want to be 'successful' to please people we don't even know?
You don’t need to turn your hobbies into a side hustle. You don’t have to post your progress online. You don’t need to build a brand out of your personality. You don’t have to squeeze value out of every corner of your life just to make it “worth something".
It already is. And sometimes, being a person means doing less.
Not chasing meaning.
Not building something.
Not reaching for a breakthrough.
Just breathing. Just existing. Just being in your own body and letting that be enough.
All of this isn't to say that you shouldn't work hard. Of course, you need to work hard. How else would you get the things you want? But don't forget to listen to yourself as much as you listen to others.
Work hard for the things you actually care about. There's no time. Soon enough, your time here would be done. Would you have worked hard to get a life of 'success' just to impress people you don't even like? Or would you have worked hard to get the life that you really want?
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